We are in Zomba, Malawi right now. We have been going around to different parts of town, meeting people and loving on them. That’s what this is all about, right? Of course. Right?Well, part of it at least. The other part is about me. That may sound selfish…but it is. It is about ‘Amy’ being completly wrecked, transformed. Well, here in Malawi, I am going through a refining process. Appropriate because Malawi means fire. What I hear is…”I don’t like that part of you, let’s draw it out and change you for the better. Amy, you can do better than that. You can serve and love others better than you are.” It is tiring I tell you. But I would not change it for anything.

Every day I have to choose to remain present. My mind is wandering towards the future.” Boy, won’t that be nice to have air conditioning in a few months. I can’t wait to sit on a toilet when I go to the bathroom. I am going to On the Border as soon as I am in Atlanta. I can’t wait to see all my old friends. ” And so on and so on. My mind won’t stop; it is constantly making plans for the future and taking me back to the States. The thing is though - I still have 3 more months. THREE WHOLE MONTHS. That is the amount of time it took me to fall in love with Asia and recognize that my love for it may take me back there. I said the other day it is like I met the love of my life but now I have to keep dating when it comes to Asia and I. If my mind is not going forward it is going back to Asia.

This is where it has gotten hard for me. I have to make a constant choice to remain mentally present here in Africa. I have to choose not to check out each day. The initial excitment has faded and what remains is the truth. I need to be here right now. The question is whether or not I am going to live everyday in that mentality. I won’t promise you every day I will live in that mentality but the truth is I desperately want to. I want to finish these last three months with the same intensity I had the first three. So today I today I choose.

I choose to trust.

I choose to believe I am in this exact place for a reason.

I choose to have faith that I can grow and stretch myself more.

I choose to love even when I don’t want to.

I choose not to check out.

I choose to remain in the present.