Swaziland breaks my heart. Every direction I turn my head I see some one dying, hungry, alone, or lost. This is the saddest country I have ever been to. HIV/AIDS is eating this country up and leaving wives who have lost their husband, mothers who are now dying from what killed their husbands, and children without anyone to care for them. One day does not go by without us hearing of someone new who has the most heartbreaking story. I knew this was going to be a heavy month but I have learned to love it through the hardship.

Here are a few stories I wanted to share with you about our time since coming to Nskoko, Swaziland:

Our first day here we met Du-du. She is dying of AIDS and literally wasting away. She is skin and bones now and in her final days. She is leaving behind a 7 month old baby and a 7 year old little girl. She is terrified right now. She is scared of death.  She is scared of what will happen to her babies; she is filled with fear completely. The next day my teammates Sara and Natalie went with her and her pastor to the hospital. They held her hand for hours and tried to ease the fears that were consuming her. Death is coming and she cannot stop it, she can only change the way she will receive it. I hope Du-du finds peace before she passes.

One teenage girl stole my heart. Her name is Necebo and she is a 14-year old beauty. She lives with her mother and two sisters. Her father passed away a few years back and it is possible that her entire family is now infected with HIV. The have never been tested, though. She is full of life and has such a comforting spirit. I met her last Saturday when we had a pool party with 10 other teenage girls who have lost their fathers. We had pizza, swam, painted nails, and talked. We just want to invest in them for the hope of change. Necebo later told me she had no food to eat so I had to do something about that. Yesterday, I bought enough food for her family to last at least a month. When we delivered it Necebo and her mother began to cry.  I just wanted them to feel loved, appreciated and accepted. I was only able to feed one family while this entire nation is starving. But I have hope that I fed one family so that they will eventually pass on the gift. Necebo has stolen my heart here in Swaziland.

Her name is Zotwa. She is 18-years old. She lives alone in hut. All of her family is dead. She feels alone in this world. The only way she can provide for herself is to prostitute herself, so she does. She puts on her nicest dress she has and walks to the military barracks down the road to find some work for the night. She has a little hunchback because she is literally so weighed down in life it is now taking a toll on her body. I look into her eyes and see someone who is searching for something that will save her and bring her peace. Tonight, Ali and myself will be spending the night with her at her home. We will be living with her and loving her. She speaks very little English so that part will be difficult, but I am confident the love with speak for itself. My heart breaks for lost women who sell their bodies, tor women who think they have no other way out. But I fully believe there is always a way. These women need to find hope so that they can then allow themselves for a chance at freedom. I know I will not know what it is truly like to be in her shoes after one night at her home, but Zotwa will know after one night that I care for her.

Please stay tuned to read about my night with Zotwa…